Wednesday, September 24, 2008

An Increasingly Good Friend

There's a man I knew slightly at first, via the Internet, who's been walking the whole cancer path with me. Via cancer, I got to know him better, and feel close to him.

The cancer path led to two different destinations for the two of us. I took an exit two years ago and cancer is no longer a part of my life. Jay has just started hospice care --- the medical establishment has given up on him.

So his journey is this: he's passing on to the Next Life, whatever it may be, while I'm enjoying this life. I don't know what to say, because I don't know what to think. I don't know what to think.

I've shot off my big mouth over the years about my absolute faith in life after death, and I still believe that, but now, because the oncologists have abandoned Jay, I'm getting in touch with my fear.

Sooner or later, we will all do that, and none of us will like it any better than I do. I wonder what goes on in the hearts of people like the Pope, or any preacher, or any professional religion talker. Because they face this, too.

I'm so bummed I don't know what to do with myself.

1 comment:

Angie said...

This friend died on October 10. I realized then that I really never expected to outlive him. But now, I'm here, and he's not.

I don't have words to describe how I feel. It's a sadness so deep and so wide and so tall that you just can't see past it.